Chronicles of a Love Skeptic
Lingerie make women feel sexy, wanted, and eager to please their significant other. But why else do women really spend $60 bucks for a few pieces of material that end up the floor quicker than the time it took to put on? Well, there is logic behind this eye candy, like, the woman's desire for attention. Particularly women who are with men who fail to verbally engage them resort to this type of behavior. As a result women use physical attention to fulfill this void, thus the lingerie presentation unfolds. It is one of the only times that a man will genuwinely listen and adore their woman, because ultimately they are anticipating the sex that will follow. This is especially true if the woman makes this sexy time dramatic, perhaps my adding a few layers of revealing clothes, grindable music, and a few sexual gestures meant only to tease until you get down and dirty to just a bra and thong. But, this display is really a woman's need for attention, and the more frequent this occurs, the more she becomes addicted to the response. But in reality what else would motivate men to recognize their significant others beauty if it isn't blatantly in front of them? Finally, lingerie is the key to achieving a man's undivided attention, now we can only hope that mutual orgasms can be too.
[Comment]
Firstoff, my apologies for loveskeptic viewers on my recent hiatus. I have been extremely preoccupied with buying a condo, going through a conversion at work, and balancing time between personal, social, and intimate time with the new beau. All of these events are strectching me too thin, but I must not forget to write about these opportunities and obstacles. I am hoping by the end of this month I will free up enough to continue my love skeptic chronicles. As for right now I am involved with a great guy who cares a lot about me. In the past I thought I could only attract assholes, however my software engineer proves this theory wrong. And so I am becoming less skeptical about love, but we can't all be cynical forever. Obviously, there are things about our significant others that irriates, annoys, or is frustrating. With that said I'm hoping a particular activity between the software engineer and I improves, because other than that I can't find anything else imperfect about him. As it stands I have my hands full and until I am sipping margaritas from my condo balcony I will see you all soon. So stay tuned!
[Comment]
The exclusivity talk finally happened between the software engineer and I. Although it emerged out of drunkeness we still made it official after a night out. It all started last week following our last hands in a poker tournament at a local bar. I was feeling a bit flirtatious considering I was still single and played a decent game. Finally, I left the engineer at the bar, so he could privately talk to a local girl who I knew was not worthwhile. Then, I made my way around to the opposite side of the bar to play darts with a few local guys. Conversation between them was weak and signaled nothing more than harmless flirtation. One guy even repeatedly called me, "Rita Pita", attempting to look cute. This was more of an embarrassment than anything else. As the bar closed the engineer and I went home together leaving the people we pursued at the bar. When we got home I was in seduction mode, however drunk, and inevitably unable to climax. That didn't matter, because pleasing my men is sometimes satisfying enough. After the sex we openly attacked the topic of why I felt the need to flirt with other men at the bar. The discussion regarding our relationship lasted until four in the morning, where to my suprise meant much more to him than I had previously thought. Apparently he hasn't had much experience with girlfriends before, so I can claim to be his first real one. Although, I may have seemed resistant to the idea of a relationship I am actually happy to be finally in one, with my software engineer that is.
[Comment]
It's been over a month since I started dating the software engineer and I am finally feeling the burn of still being single. I am seeing this guy at least 2-3 times a week and we even spent Valentine's Day together, but as it stands I am just another date. I could have rocked any guy's world on Vday, but I put on my sexiest lingerie for his eyes only. Now, I'm starting to question why I'm trying so hard to please him when there is so much uncertainty between us. Also, it doesn't help that I have problems opening up emotionally, which prevents me from asking these very questions. Ultimately, I fear that he will do the same thing my ex did to me and that is to use me to gain more confidence from my constant attention, affection, and adoration and then eventually move on to something he claims is better. Sadly enough I've invested so much time and effort into our 'friendship' that if I don't talk to him about where we are going I am inevitably going to get hurt. Like I have mentioned before, dating is a trial period between two people to determine compatibility and relationship needs. I feel a month is sufficient for evaluation, so let's be honest, is the real question; "Am I not good enough to be your girlfriend?"
[Comment]
Guys bond through video games and sports, while women do so through shopping and gossiping. Problem is I don't enjoy any of the aforementioned activities, so where do I fit in the social circle? Well, I've never really had to worry about this, because I'm usually coupled and comfortable. Most of my life has been consumed by relationships, so as a result I have few solid friendships. This social dilemma began when I was sixteen and dating long term. Since then I've gone through a handful of ex's and even more friends. Thus, although I'm currently young and single I still find it difficult to maintain friendships, because now my time is spent pursuing men. I never thought my lack of a social circle was a problem until the software engineer (the guy I'm dating) questioned it. Now, although I am not a social butterfly I am not a wallflower either. Nonetheless, it got me thinking; should I put my search for love on hold in order to establish myself more of a social network? In reality I am probably overthinking this, because I am more inclined to take criticism to heart from someone I actually respect. Nonetheless, I do feel threatened by what he thinks of me, but my social dilemma is justified. Relationship bound I may be, but I can try to change that vicious social cycle.
[Comment]
We all know it doesn't take long for a conversation among nymphs to quickly digress into a discussion of what to try next, when, and where. So, if two people are equally obsessed about sex is it possible for them to be more than just lovers in bed? My curiosity arose from the current man in my life whom I have dated for almost a month. Sex is great with him, however when I'm with him that's all I can think about. Albeit, I generally do fantasize about sex , but more so with this particular guy. I feel like my libido is preventing me from opening up emotionally, because I do so physically on the regular. Most guys would love to hear a woman reveal such things, but for me it can be overwhelming. Especially, when I frequent the clubs and I am surrounded by hott men and women all eagerly trying to fulfill their urge. The motivation for these fantasies, however, derives from the fact that I am still single and able to do so. Ultimately, having the ability to fuck someone new, while keeping the current, and maybe even making the mistake of sleeping with the old is what makes sex too good to resist. Having these options makes things anticipative, fun, and interesting; sometimes all within the same week. So, I'm hoping my overactive libido isn't the result of me being single, because although its a love hate relationship I still can't be without you.
[Comment]
I think people tend to forget how important dating is when establishing a relationship. Afterall, it is during this phase that we determine what the next step is whether it be pursuing a relationship with that person or moving on to their best friend. All jokes aside dating is a trial period between two people that allows them to have fun without committment. Now, although I do not oppose relationships my biggest fear of getting into one is the all too familiar comfortability that sets in. I've seen too many relationships gone sour, because someone falls into a routine and accepts the monotony that develops from it. But, then again, if this facet of a relationship unfolds, perhaps it means that neither partners should be together. Moreover, dating is about learning about a particular person, identifying compatibility, and seeing how they deal with different situations. For example, how they interact with their friends, how they behave in public, or how they perform in bed. Thus, after weeks of evaluation you must decide whether you want to commit to that person or remain friends. But when does the talk revolving around exclusivity occur? This is all relative to how often you date, when both partners are ready, and if either one wants to take that step forward. The only wrong way to reveal this to your partner is to send them a facebook request to confirm they are in a relationship. Passive, yes. Immature, yes. And sadly enough that's how my last relationship began.
[Comment]
After 5 months of dating I've finally found someone who is not only compatible, but good in bed! Now, initially the Software Engineer and I were not on the same page sexually, but I was able to motivate him
enough to have one mission and that is to make me orgasm. Success! According to statistics only 30% of women can orgasm from g spot stimulation, but I'd like to analyze this a bit more. For me it's all about rhythm and knowing what gets you off.
Women who don't reguarly masterbate are prone to have issues climaxing in the bedroom and beyond. To all my ladies take the following advice. You must experiment with your vibrator or toy of choice, know what you like physically, and emulate that in bed. You will thank me later! I havn't been this excited sexually in a long time because most men
are selfish when it comes to pleasing their women and don't spend the necessary time learning what women like and discussing how to make sex better for both involved. It's simple: all you need is communication, experimentation and lots of practice. Unfortunately, my libido oftentimes gives guys the wrong impression. I do indeed love sex, but I also love all the benefits of a relationship like companionship, quality time, experiencing new things, and ummmm falling in love. Since, my past break up I am finding it hard to give love a shot, hence, my love skepticism. However, I am hoping my recovery time is reaching it's end, because the whole FWB concept, as I have discovered, just doesn't work.
[Comment]
Plenty of Fish seems to be good for at least one thing and that is landing dates. I organized drinks mid week with a Software Engineer that turned out to be quite the night. After a few drinks at a Boston bar he suggested we play pool at another venue to prolong the date. So, the fun continued and then inevitably a buzz came on, which made me a bit frisky particularly on the walk back to the T (train). I couldn't help but fantasize about this guy seeing as the night was going so well. I then proposed a snow ball fight which led us onto a thin layer of partially melted ice. As dangerous as the situation revealed we ended up making out on the ice. It was quite the scene and a bit romantic for my taste. I normally don't lock lips with a guy I've just met. Forward to the weekend and we meet again, but at his place, for drinks and a movie. Unfortunately, he was oblivious to the fact that I was over there for a rendezvous. So, I encouraged enough liquor to get him vulnerable and finally I attempted to seduce him only to find that I would be the third person he's ever slept with. Yikes! I freaked out to say the least and ultimately that set the sex-pectations really low, which is never a good thing. But, you know what they say, "I'd rather have an awkward morning than a boring night." Needless to say, I can't determine the future of the Software Engineer and I, but what I do know is I don't want to teach someone how to be good in bed. So, let's just blame it on the al-co- hol..
[Comment]
My New Year's eve couldn't have gone any perfectly. I celebrated it with one of my best friends at my favorite club and even before the ball dropped I was getting hit on by guys. After the ball dropped one guy had asked me what my New Year's resolution was. Without any hesitation I replied, "To stop dating assholes." Moments later I get hit on by an obliterated guy, so much for the proposed resolution. Finally, I had one too many drinks myself and no ride home, so I scoped the dance floor for the most potential bachelor. To my surprise I found one who lived a couple blocks away from the bar. Score! Not to mention he was a CPA for a notable firm and a graduate from an ivy league. Another score! I ended up going back to his apartment to party a bit more and give him a taste of what he would later experience. His roommate, however, was a bit sketchy and stared directly at us while I gave him a lap dance in their living room. The night went according to plan, but the morning was completely unexpected. After awaking I went to gather my scattered clothes from the floor and I noticed that my boots were no where to be found! The CPA, embarrased at the disappearance, started searching for them, but they weren't in any crevice, closet, or room. After we abandoned the search the CPA drove me home and I was subjected to wear his size 12 flip flops. The only conclusion that we could come to was that his roommate, for whatever reason, threw my boots away. After getting home and thoroughly being pissed and bootless, I decided to take action. I couldn't let yet another asshole take advantage of me. So, I drove back to his complex and after pacing back and forth outside his apartment for a few minutes, I got the nerve to knock on his door. I immediately said, "I don't want the run around. Just give me $50 bucks and we'll call it even." He opposed and argued a bit with me until I threatened to file an incident report over the boots claiming they cost over a $100. Although he didn't want to give in this was the final straw. He got out his wallet, which was full of cash and handed over the money. So, when it was all said and done I ended up buying the same boots back with the acquired cash. It was an exhausting day, so I'm hoping that a bad New Years means I am destined to a good year. Wishful thinking I know, but above all I need to work on that New Years Resolution, so far not so good!
[Comment]
Tis the season for cuddling, hot
chocolate, and spending time with the ones you love. I remember
previous winters that encompassed all of the above. Unfortunately,
this time I will not be wrapped in someone sheets dreaming of a white
winter. Though, those who are involved during this season I surely am
bitter towards. As a result, I tend to over analyze my friend's
relationships and secretly try to determine whether they are meant to
be. In some of my friend's relationships I see the same behaviors
that my ex and I shared. The constant bickering, mundane
conversation, and the appearance that one wants to settle, while the
other wants out. And, I wonder what does it take for a complicated
relationship to end? I don't vocalize these things to my friends, but
I thoroughly wonder, is this the person you are going to marry? If
the answer is no then why do couples stay together, despite their
differences? My last breakup at least made me come to terms that a
failed relationship is an unhealthy one, so why endure the drama?
Nonetheless I don't deny being single is fun, but sometimes you need
a more physical level of comfort in life to satisfy, and I'm not just
talking sex. So, ultimately why do some settle for a bad romance when you can be out
finding the love of your life?
[Comment]
I'm starting to re-evaluate my 'single theory' and have come to a new hypothesis after a recent date. I met someone, yet again, from the free online dating website
Plenty of Fish. Now, generally I date guys that are attractive and whom I quailfy as hott, good looking, or cute, but there is inevitably the average Joe. Unfortunately, this guy was of the latter and he was also boring. He spoke so highly and so often of himself that at one point I wanted to exuse myself from the bar and never return. I even went as far as to interject him and belch as loudly as possible, but this guy just didn't get it. I couldn't tell if he was narcisstic or if he was overcompensating for something he didn't have. Regardless, I showed little interest to his stories, which made me just want to scream,
an anecdote is suppose to be short, isn't it? In summation, this guy made me realize that being single isn't about numbers, it's about perception. As I sat at that bar sharing a few drinks with my online dork I shifted my attention to the guys around me. They thought I was dating this fellow and gave me a few smirks and flirtatous glances. Then I realized that if I were with a female this attention would have been one to compete for. Ultimately, men like to be challenged, so a single woman to a guy is like fuel to their ego. If I am perceived as being in a relationship or casually dating, men find me more attractive. Finally, I would like to update my 'single theory', to reveal it is not about the population of singles, it is about your perception as a single. Are you a desperate single or are you just out to have fun? Whatever your attitude may be it will determine whether you get a date and if you're lucky something more.
[Comment]
I am convinced there are more single women out there than there are single men. I've come to this conclusion based on three events. Firstoff, every club I visit the female to male ratio is very high, like 10:3. Secondly, guys who would normally sleep with me now pass on the offer. And, lastly, every date I've been on leads me to believe that the selection of women are infinite, since I've yet to have a repeat date. Although only sampled data can reveal the truth to this ambiguity I am almost certain there is a shortage of single men. My pessimism could, however, be the result of age, while being in my mid twenties may seem less attractive to the average male. For the record, I never had a problem getting a piece of ass when I was younger. Not to mention the guys were always all over me in the clubs. So, why as of recent I am encountering this problem? Maybe most women are aware of this issue and have stepped up their game enough for men to realize that we are for the taking. Whatever the case may be I am finding it exhausting to be a single woman in her twenties. I wish dating were simplier, but then again I wish there were more single men. Guys may be shaking their head right now thinking the same thing. But I plan on making this my little experiment and I will justify it as much as possible, plus any dating experience I can report is certainly a good time for me.
[Comment]
At the end of the day men and women blow each other off equally as often. On the one hand women get down on their knees and provide a little loving to their favorite male counterpart. Conversely, we have men, who rarely get down on one knee, but for some lucky women they do this, maybe, once in a lifetime. Needless to say they do like to blow women off in one instance; following through with plans. They especially like to break plans the day it is suppose to occur. I've actually lost track of how many times a guy has recently blown me off, despite the fact that I am sexually attracted to them. It's like guys are trying to maintain their 'game' by being less available. Well, the reality of it is this behavior is not attractive, actually it's quite repulsive. It gives women the impression that you don't care, can't commit, and are unreliable. In other words you are going to be delisted as a Douchebag to the female community, and trust me guys, we like to talk. So, while you're stalking me on facebook cause you don't have the balls to commit to a real plan you can kiss that medium good-bye. If you can't make the effort to go out for dinner, a drink, or to hook up, you will no longer find me on your friends list. Oh, and don't bother finding me in your phonebook either.
[Comment]
Adults like to refer to their fuck buddy's as friends with benefits. Why the differentiation you ask? It's a euphemism that makes the idea of casual sex appear less offensive. I quickly learned this when I called one of my recent encounters a "fuck buddy" and he replied sarcastically, "Now thats not degrading at all". But, is it really? Now, the problem with these FWB's is they don't have the time to arrange such a rendezvous. To provide more evidence to this absurdity every guy that I have encountered within the last couple of months in their mid twenties has played the 'I'm busy' card. When I was younger and I designated a guy as my F* Buddy he was always happily a call away, but now these FWB's have a laundry list of shit to do everyday. I understand work can be exhausting and our friends can be encouraging of a night out when you know it's not in your best interest. But, beyond our busy schedules, I know, there is always time and a desire to have sex. So, why have all these aforementioned men failed me thus far? Am I too aggressive in my behavior to get laid? Not much of a challenge for them to pursue? Do they think they can find someone better? Sex is an activity not a commitment, so I don't see how someone can be incapable of making time for something they enjoy. Maybe I would get a better response if I remove the sugar coat. I'm impatient and I know what I want. Call it want you want, but tell me, can you be my fuck buddy, or not?
[Comment]
Apparently, there are still some people that define "hooking up" as making out and engaging in everything but sex. I thoroughly disagree and think that when you hook up it refers to having casual sex with someone. This debate recently arose between a guy I met through the online dating website,
Plenty of Fish. Since I name my men based on their profession, we'll call him the web designer. It was mid week and we shared a few drinks and then we got the sex discussion going. Coincidentally, he's just as obsessed as I am. Finally, he proposed we 'hook up'. Now, normally I wouldn't object, but he meant the alternate meaning to the term "hooking up". For some reason I just couldn't appease him and 'make out', because I knew it was only to fulfill his curiosity of what I would be like in bed. With that being said in this 'new generation of dating' sex may or not occur on the first or second date, but
it will eventually happen. It is then when we discover the deal breaker: is he too small, too big, overly aggressive, too kinky, too much curvature, has mysterious bumps, or no rhythm at all? I'm not saying sex is critical, but it definitely plays a huge part in my relationships, so I that's why I do hook up, or to be blunt, have casual sex.
Moreover, I am not going to get all hot and bothered making out, just so one party can determine if there's physical chemistry. If you want to see physical chemistry, please take off your clothes, and then we'll experiment.
[Comment]
Halloween weekend isn't fun unless you pretend to be someone else and succeed at it. Although I don't usually engage in one night stands, sometimes you just gotta give in. On Hallow's Eve I went to a costume party, where I was dressed up as Lady Gaga. If you don't know this pop star; think sex symbol. I was dancing provacatively on the dance floor and I had one two many long islands to realize that who I was dancing with was who I was going home with. This fellow told me he was Greek and Polish and this made me curious to discover if he was well endowed, like the engineer, who is also of the latter. When I asked this, he simply said, "I guess you'll have to find out". Later he drove me back to my house where we smoked some $#%@0&! and then got it on. He was nothing out of the ordinary and he didn't meet my expectations in size or satisfaction. It was quite the experience, because of the $#%@0&!, but without that it would have been a regrettful fuck. When it was all said and done I gave him a half hug at the door where we recognized that would be the last time we would see each other. But that is the downfall of promiscuity. If there is no connection then its just a one night stand, that's why I prefer FWB, because at least after the sex there arn't any awkward hugs. Despite it all I would have made Lady Gaga proud, cause I got to take a ride on the "disco stick" ;)
[Comment]
To: Engineer
Sex?
Sent: Sat, Oct 24 9:20pm |
So far not so good. Although, I claimed I would be good at 'the game', I must admit that is not the case. The above message sent via text did occur between myself and the aforementioned engineer. However, I did not receive a response back. What guy in their right mind wouldn't respond to a message like that? As far as I'm concerned I'm dismissing the engineer as a FWB. It seems the only time him and I hook up is when its convienent for him. I'm not looking to call all the shots, but I want equal reciprocation. Its been a few weeks and I'm beginning to realize that he needs to be replaced. Yes, FWB are disposable, especially ones that agree to be one and then fail at it. If you choose booze over booty then you clearly have your priorities set to not getting laid.
[Comment]
"New Season, New Chapter"
Currently down to just one FWB. The musician and I mutually stopped seeing each other, well actually he got a girlfriend. When I first met him I clearly defined we were only FWB and that nothing else would emerge. I told him that it would not last, because well I am optimistically romantic and well he is just hopeless. He fell for me quickly and I just couldn't accept the incompatibilities that existed beyond FWB. So, theres goes the musician. Now, I am left with the engineer, who is great in bed, but similarly is incompatible. Through my recent experiences I have found that this new generation of FWB want to be in control. They want a challenge and not an easy lay. So, I must stay on the sidelines and wait for them to call me. Doesn't that defeat the purpose of a FWB? I am opposed to this new definition, but if thats the only way it will be satisfying for the both of us, I will play hard to get. I can be very good at this game..
[Comment]
"Crossroads of Lust"
I have finally reached a crossroads between two lusters and I am not entirely sure if I want to continue pursuing either one of them. On one hand I have the musician, who is sweet and talented, however he did not graduate from college and his job is very questionable. Then there is the engineer who is well endowed, good looking, smart, but talks too much. Together they make the perfect man, but individually they make me realize I can do better. The crossroads I am encountering is only significant, because I am at the point where I want to be monogomaus. Until I can find someone else more fulfilling I must continue to be distant to these two men, because any emotions involved could give them the wrong impression. The less I see these two lusters makes me want them more. I need to keep my distance, because very easily can a friend with benefits lead to something more. So, how can I avoid this perdicament and remain just a friend? Although I want to maintain both these friendships, the reality of it is, they are equally exhausting and not self fullfilling. Ultimately, I need to take the road that leads me to a new adventure. I can't help but think this current one is getting boring.
[Comment]
“Reminiscent Lust”
What if you meet someone who reminds you of a past lust? Similar characteristics, mannerisms, behaviors, however is missing the one trait invaluable to lust, and that is size. Proportion is good, but off par is not. The most recent man I have encountered is, well, irish, and I'm not talking blessed either. From what I can remember he is a victim of the notorious 'irish curse'. My main attraction to him, however, is his ability to be different than most men. He isn't overly talkative like the previously mentioned encounter, “Mr Right Now”. He is sensitive, charismatic, caring, and spontaneous. I like what I see, and finally I must come to realize that maybe size really doesn't matter? I have always fallen for men based on infatuation, but in reality my last 3 long term relationships were with irish men. I think I'll give this kid a shot, I mean I did pick him up at the bar out of desperation to get laid. I wasn't impressed by his dick, but he has way more to offer than just sex. He reminds me of a former luster whom I was infatuated with many moons ago. I've been looking for that type of personality every since my luster and I departed ways. This kid seems to match the criteria of the kind of man I've been missing. Now the question is, if something should develop between him and I can it be possible for me to accept his irish curse?
[Comment]
“Mr. Right Now”
I found Mr. Right now instead of Mr. Right. He's handsome, charismatic, successful, interesting, and well endowed. The only thing that makes him Mr. Right now is his inability to engage me in conversations. How can a man so charismatic and charming, be so socially inept? I am used to engaging conversations pre-ex, but now all I can find are narcissistic men only interested in talking about themselves. I think I could manage a better conversation with a wall than I can with him. Many people find me interesting, why doesn't he delve a bit to realize this himself? The funny thing is we have tons of stuff in common, but he will never know the extent to which I am passionate about these things. I mean does it really kill you to ask a question every once in awhile that allows you to get to know someone better? Maybe he is keeping his distance, because, the reality of it is, we are both emotionally wounded, both recently single. Neither of us are looking for a relationship, however we are both “optimistically romantic”. I say this, because hopeless romantics engage in meaningless relationships only fulfilling a certain void and that is fear of being alone. I don't like that term, because every relationship, with the exception of one, has been extremely influential on my life. I loved every single man I have dated long term, and at one point or another I thought he was the one. Thus, I am not your average woman looking to fulfill a void in life. I am looking for my life partner, my soul mate, the man of my dreams. I want everything and I am a believer that good things come to those who wait. But how long can I wait before I become hopeless?
[Comment]
--TOP--
